https://tube.helpsolve.org/videos/watch/472f01f8-e304-49c5-a24e-600dd696b00b What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? We did "what" two weeks ago. I'm gonna mop with some rags Only got twenty bucks in my pocket I'm, I'm, I'm scrolling, hunting for a miracle This is flippin' flapjacks awesome Now I'm wide awake at 3 a.m. like, "What up? I need that fix" Nah I'm just hopeless, impulse clicking on the grift, its a mop Sham Wow in my hand, supposed to soak up the mess But it just smeared the soda, left a bigger stain, what the heck Wrapped up in my Snuggie, arms trapped like a hostage Flex Seal on the boat that still leaks like a sieve Girl next to me laughing, "You bought another one?" This whole pile of boxes smells like regret and broken dreams But gee willikers, it was three easy payments just ship it Buy it now, hate it forever, drowning in buyer’s remorse Skipped all the real tools, 'cause they don't got the loud guy yelling Useless and shiny, fiddlesticks it, I'm still ranting in my failure Blew every dollar and I'm broker than broke, what a "bargain" you big dummy I'ma take your grandma's OxiClean I'ma take your grandma's OxiClean No joke, go ask your grandma Can I have her PedEgg too? Bless You Snuggie with the sleeves and fuzzy house slippers George Foreman grill that burns everything, barely fits it They had a Set It and Forget It, so I bought the Set It and Forget It It torched the chicken, then I bought a Shake Weight Hello, hello, my main mark, my fellow That Slap Chop ain't got nothing on this... grift, it's a mop, got game, no well yes yes sirree I could take some Kinoki foot pads, claim they suck out the toxins, sell those The suckers be like, "Wow… my feet still smell though" I'm gonna mop with some rags Only got twenty bucks in my pocket I'm, I'm, I'm scrolling, hunting for a miracle This is flippin' flapjacks awesome I'm gonna mop with some rags Only got twenty bucks in my pocket I'm, I'm, I'm scrolling, hunting for a miracle This is flippin' flapjacks awesome What you know about rocking a Thigh Master on your flabby thighs? What you know about that Hawaii Chair spinning scheme? I'm clicking, I'm clicking, I'm falling for every desperate pitch One mark's broken dream is another grifter's new yacht Thank your granddad for that Miracle Mop order 'Cause right now I'm mopping tears off the carpet Buried under return labels and empty hype boxes Ain't picky, I'll buy whatever they scream at 2 a.m. Your granny, your aunty, your momma, your mammy I'll take those flannel Snuggie jammies, secondhand, and rock that mother jabber The built-in disappointment with stains that never budge on that mother jibber I hit the family dinner and they all roast me in that mother ointment They be like, "Whoa that Flex Seal saved your roof!" I'm like, "Yo, it peeled off after one rain, what a payment plan" Limited miracle, let's do the sad math Ninety-nine down and the rest is pure trash, that's banana pudding I call that getting swindled and bamboozled, son of a biscuit I call that getting played by Billy Mays, costs a monkey's behind Having the same useless junk as six other saps is a hella don't Peep game, come take a look through my telescope Trying to fix stuff like a normal person? Man, you surely won't Yeah Nah, you surely won't Grift mop, buying junk, yeah I'm gonna mop with some rags Only got twenty bucks in my pocket I'm, I'm, I'm scrolling, hunting for a miracle This is flippin' flapjacks awesome I'll wear your grandma's Snuggie I look incredible I'm in this pile of regrets From another 3 a.m. spree I'll wear your granddad's Snuggie you bet your boots I look incredible come on now I'm in this pile of regrets pile of regrets From another 3 a.m. spree we scrolling I'm gonna mop with some rags Only got twenty bucks in my pocket I'm, I'm, I'm scrolling, hunting for a miracle This is flippin' Fladge Rants awesome Fri, 15 May 2026 02:49:45 GMT https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html PeerTube - https://tube.helpsolve.org https://tube.helpsolve.org/client/assets/images/icons/icon-1500x1500.png https://tube.helpsolve.org/videos/watch/472f01f8-e304-49c5-a24e-600dd696b00b All rights reserved, unless otherwise specified in the terms specified at https://tube.helpsolve.org/about and potential licenses granted by each content's rightholder.